Date from Hell
by poxelda
Summary: Mac should have learned from losing the bet to date Darlene Martin but he didn't. Losing a bet to Jack he has to go on a blind date that...well it really doesn't go well. Humor.


Mac hobbled up the long hill to his home. He hunched his shoulders cold and wet. His clothes were heavy with water from the angry storm that he had been walking in for the past 90 minutes. Mac hurt everywhere. His previously new white suit was torn and stained. Even after being hozed off by the rain, he still smelled like sewer.

He should have known better than to make the bet. The last time he'd lost a bet and had to go on a date his young teen heart had been crushed by the beautiful Darlene Martin. Mac wrung out his coat and sighed knowing it was pointless. He pulled the dripping wall of bangs out of his face, he still could barely see more than ten feet in front of him through the almost solid wall of water. Mac also suspected Jack cheated. Mac sighed. They had been arguing about poker whether it was a game of skill or probabilities. Mac had won many hands and was about to close the deal when out of nowhere Jack pulls out a royal flush. Mac accepted defeat as gracefully as he could. After all, how bad could one date be? Mac snorted.

Later he learned that all of Phoenix had put names in a hat suggesting candidates who were then screened by his three team mates. As if that wasn't humiliating they couldn't agree on the three finalists so Matty herself had cast the deciding vote. Mac scowled coughing. His throat was scratchy. He wondered what he'd done to piss Matty off so he'd lost the bet Jack demanded say in his wardrobe. Mac had agreed just to shut him up. Jack had chosen a white suit and tie with a black shirt. Jack thought he looked 'gangsta.' Mac thought he looked like he should be doing the Saturday Night Fever strut.

Things were looking up when Mac met his date, Marlena Bambolina. She was amazingly hot. She was taller than him, although it could have been because of her impossibly tall stilettos. She had a figure that would have made Jessica Rabbit blush in shame, long silky blond hair, and super model perfection in her heart shaped face. Marlena had worn a form-fitting green dress that made her sparkling green eyes jump out like a playful cat. Her pink bow mouth dimpled beautifully when she flashed her amazing perfect-toothed smile.

Mac looked over at Jack who grinned and waggled his eyes, Bozer who whistled appreciatively, and Riley who nodded and shot him a thumb's up. Marlena's name had seemed familiar, but Mac didn't know why. When she pulled into the drive in a stately white limo, Mac thought she might be an actress he'd seen somewhere. She handed him a flute of bubbling champagne and tapped her glass to his.

"To a good night." Marlena purred in voice light and musical. Mac smiled and sipped. It was the good stuff. Marlena wrapped her arms around his right arm and looked up at him giggling. It was a pleasant sound, relaxing like a brook in a deep forest. Marlene smelled divine, her perfume had a light floral spice that was heady and enticing.

"I hope you don't mind if we go to my daddy's restaurant?" Looking down at her, struck mute, Mac could only nod. At that point he would have jumped into a volcano if she asked. Mac snorted. That would probably have been better than what happened.

Her daddy's restaurant turned out to be Vietato L'Accesso, the most exclusive and expensive Italian place in town. Mac assisted Marlena out of the limo, bursting with pride as she wrapped her hand around his bent elbow. The long line of people waiting vainly to get a chance to get on the waiting list murmured in jealousy as he led her to the front door and was immediatly let in by security. The restaurant had rich red velvet tables and tasteful gold lit chandeliers over each individual booth. Sound was muted and the tall curved walls guaranteed privacy. Mac sniffed and had to keep himself from drooling, the smell was a perfect mix of spice and class. They had barely seated themselves when the waiter was at his elbow offering a bottle of wine. Mac raised his eyebrows. The wine was a very classic bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. It was a smooth black currant with a touch of blackberry and mint. Mac nodded and waited as both their glasses were filled.

Mac had been in some pretty expensive and elaborate parties in the course of his spy career, but this was something else. They were pampered by at least three different waiters with impeccable and immediate timing. The food almost made Mac melt into the floor. Marlena was no brain surgeon, her conversation was limitted and shallow, mostly about her nails and their wardrobe.

"I can't believe how well matched we are! It's almost like destiny." Mac smiled. He enjoyed watching her talk and barely heard what she said. Then came the ex-boyfriend. Mac gritted his teeth again wringing out his jacket. Marlena's green eyes widened with surprise as she looked up, that was the second all hell broke loose. Mac barely had enough time to register there was someone standing beside him before he was grabbed by the lapels, pulled over the table causing his manicotti with marinara to roll down his white suit and punched three times in the face. As he hit the carpet he had a vague image of a Jake LaMotta look alike before he was again pulled up by his lapels and slammed back first onto the table ensuring both sides were stained with tomato sauce.

"She's my girl!" The man roared. Marlena was screaming at them in irate and ineffectual Italian. Mac managed to grab the wine bottle out of the ice and slam it across the man's skull backing him up. Mac lumbered to his feet rubbing blood from his soon-to-be swollen nose. The man bellowed screaming something Mac lost in the pain of being body slammed to the carpet. Air whooshed out painfully.

"DADDY!" Marlena howled. The ex got in two solid stunning punches before hands grabbed him and dragged him to his feet. Mac sucked in air and blinked up at two large men in suits and one smaller older man. Mac gulped and scrambled to his feet. The older man was solid and unstooped. He had iron gray hair that matched his piercing shark eyes. Mac pulled together the tatters of his dignity and straightened pulling down his jacket, subtly flicking a piece of sphaghetti off his hand before he held it out.

"Thank you, Mr. Bambolina." Mac offered. The man scraped his eyes from Mac's mussed blond mop, down his stained suit, to the wine soaked leather loafers. Mr. Bamboline scowled and turned to his daughter rattling off a long stream of Italian. Mac knew enough Italian to know Mr. Bambolina was not impressed. Marlena shrieked at him in tones that made Mac wince. The woman had somehow avoided getting a spot on her and not a hair flopped out of place. She put her hands on her hips raising one hand and pointing her clawed index finger around the room. Mac surrepticiously stepped back so not to get accidently carved. Mr. Bambolina shot Mac another appraising look and sighed. He looked at the two security men who held the exboyfriend in a tight and uncomfortable hold. The older man waved a hand and the ex was dragged away. Mac swallowed as the man's eyes opened wider and he began to scream like he was heading to his execution. Marlena reached out and snuggled up to his arm. Mac offered the best reassuring gaze he could manage. She giggled and said something to her father.

Mr. Bambolina muttered something then smiled at Mac.

"Daddy loves you!" Marlena gushed. Mac tried to smile again. Terrorists who'd tortured him had given Mac friendlier look than the frigid stare of Mr. Bambolina.

"Great." Mac managed. He scratched his neck with the hand Mr. Bambolina refused to shake.

"Let's get you out of those clothes…" Marlena giggled looking up at Mac licking her lips. Mac felt his stomach plummet as he glanced at Mr. Bambolina hoping he didn't understand English. Of course he did. Mac took a step back and darted his eyes around him as the older man squinted at him. The old man turned his head and muttered a single word. Three bulky men in identical gray suites seemed to come out of the walls and surrounded Mac. Mac gulped. He knew he was about to get the worst ass kicking in history, or worse. He glanced at Marlena who shrugged and let him go with a sad sigh crossing to her daddy's side.

"What happened to he loves me?" Mac whined as his arms were caught in a tight and uncomfortable on both sides.

"Love is fickle." Marlena said frowning in regret. Mac grunted as he was dragged backward. The two men were inmovable. Mr. Bambolina took his daughter's hand and turned to walk away. Mac was about to yell something when shadows dropped all around them.

"What the hell?" Mac was flung to the floor as the security men pushed through the moving shadows to protect their boss. Mac blinked his brain slower than his eyes. He saw a flashing of bamboo and metal. "Ninjas? Where the hell did ninjas come from?" Mac layed flatter as one of said ninjas swung a katana down faster than lightening stopping less than an inch from his nose. Mac's eyes crossed as he looked at it. He heard a low chuckle then the katana moved away seeking other targets. Gunfire blared into life and all around him became a moving melee of violence. Mac looked up to see Mr. Bambolina glare at him. That look was more dangerous than any of the guns or swords whirling between them. Mac sucked in breath. The older man's look promised death or worse.

"You can't think I had anything to do with this?" Mac roared anger and indignation overcoming fear and self preservation. Mr. Bambolina didn't answer only put his arm around Marlena pulling her away as a wall of gray suits made a protective wall behind him. Mac closed his eyes, rolled over and started to crawl away from the fighting. Mac ducked under feet, bottles, falling food and dishes. A bullet shattered a chair in front of him. Mac rolled under the closest table and came eye to eye with one of his waiters. They ducked lower as the sound of a body hitting the table above them made a hollow thud. They man's eyes were wide with panic. Mac growled, more than a little irritated.

"You aren't getting a tip." He growled as he turned to head to the next table. The waiter fell in behind him.

"It's ok, I just quit." The man piped up yelping as a bottle of wine shattered on the floor in front of him. Mac shook his head muttering about the multitude of ways he would make Jack and his accessories pay for this. Mac got kicked in the side, ducked and dodged shoving at feet here and there until he crawled through the spinning door of the restaurant. He sprawled on the cement in relief. The long row of potential customers stared at him as he rolled painfully to his feet and buttoned his suit pushing his shoulders back and shaking salad greens out of his hair. He glanced back surprised to see a long line of patrons and waite staff in a crawling line behind him. He strode along the line with as much dignity as he could muster. One guy grabbed his arm.

"What's going on?" Mac pulled his arm free.

"The service isn't all it's cracked up to be." Mac said with a smirk. He pulled away. As he walked past the murmuring spectators who were pulling at the patrons and staff that escaped the chaos Mac heard a loud squeal. He half turned to see several black chevy sedans speeding in formation toward him.

"Oh, C'mon!" Mac took off sprinting when he saw gun barrels poke out windows and aim at him. Some time during the long cat and mouse game that followed it began to rain. It didn't start out as a sprinkle then build up it just splashed down as if the sky itself was relieving itself. Mac paused, resting his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. He glanced around him and frowned. Mac had absolutly no idea where he was. Mac spun in a circle. He was in a small dirty alley. Mac pulled up his collar trying vainly to keep cold water from running down his back. Ahead of him the alley narrowed and ended in a rusted fence that was pulled back on one side leaving a small open triangle. The narrow path on the other side was covered with muddy grass and garbage. It looked to run behind several run down houses.

His shoulders hunched his shoulders and crept slowly to the mouth of the alley he'd come in from. If Mac stayed low enough maybe he could boost a car or.. Mac froze as headlights blared at him. Mac shook his head.

"Seriously?" Mac whined tiredly as he whirled and dove through the fence. Rusted edges ripped into his arms and legs as he scrambled through the slippery mug to his feet. Mac took off running dodging garbage cans, a couple rusted bicycles, and he fell face-first into a mountain of empty beer cans. Mac wrinkled his nose and fumbled his way to his feet in time to hear the screeching of tires and swearing in Italian. Hands cut from sharp edges of the cans barely registered as he slid into a staggering run. The rain blinded him as he ran in a dizzying maze of small back yards, some fences were small enough for him to climb or jump over, although several of them tore his suit more along his legs. Everytime he paused for breath or ducked back to hide he would hear the squeal of a sedan or Italian yells followed by Italian bullets, one creased his left flank. Mac staggered against a slime coated brick wall and looked down. His white suit was soaking through with dark red blood, but not at an alarming rate. Mac wiped rain from his face. Behind him he could see the distant outline of four bulky suits as they were backlit by a back porch light. Mac knew he had a couple of minutes with the rain he could barely see more than ten feet in front of him.

Squinting through wet eye lashes Mac huffed. On either side of him were two brick walls leading uninterrupted back the way he came and in front of him a wooden brown fence too tall for him to climb. Mac's eyes caught on a trash bin. He pulled it over to the fence and climbed on it. It wobbled under him as he reached up and grabbed the wood. Splinters chewed at his fingers and the fence swayed almost as much as the shaking trash can. Mac had just reached the top of the fence and was about to lift his foot off the bin when it slid to the side.

"Dammit!" Mac yelled as he overbalanced and fell face first over the fence.

Mac moaned in pain as he spit out muddy water and looked up into the cheerful face of a family of garden knomes. Mac blinked and looked around him. There were hundreds of the brightly painted statues in all different sizes and colors. Mac closed his eyes. "I give up." He muttered. Mac braced himself to move his sore body when something landed on his back. Mac squawked in fear and rolled over. A pair of golden eyes glared at him from a larger gnome's wheelbarrow. The black cat hissed and vanished among the cadre of gnomes. Mac layed back breathing hard, his heart pounding. He slowly pulled himself to his feet and flipped his sopping hair back from his face. Mac was in a small back yard ringed by the fence. He braced himself and dusted off as much as the grime as he could and squared his shoulders.

Mac intended to walk with confidence to the unlit back stoop and beg for mercy and shelter when he tripped over something that yowled at him. He managed to catch himself but another shadow clawed him in his calf. A light flared and a woman with white hairs in rollers wearing a floral quilted night robe looked out holding a broom she meant to use as a bludgeon. She glared into the darkness.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" Mac said trying to gently kick the cat from his calf and wincing as he felt teeth dig into his knee. The woman squinted at him. Mac held up his hands and inched forward shaking his foot. The cat held on and dug deeper.

"Stop right there!" The woman screeched. Mac froze blinking away the continuous waterfall of rain that seemed to hover over his head. "So what are you suppose to be?"

"Uh…" Mac floundered pointing over his shoulder. How the hell to explain all this?

"Nevermind, it's soaking out there. I made a bundt cake and tea do you want some?" Mac finally managed to kick the cat off his leg and stepped forward nimbly dodging the swirling mass of felines that curled around his feet. Mac wrinkled his nose. He smelled like sewage. With a sinking feeling he suspected the pile of mud he'd fallen into was the community litter box. For once, Mac was glad the rain was soaking slime off his clothes although it was doing nothing to kill the stink.

"I would love bundt cake and tea!" Mac enthused as he heard Italian voices grow louder on the other side of the fence. The woman smiled and stepped back. Mac slowly stepped through the moving mass of meows and tails and entered the home. He took in a deep breath as the door closed behind him. He wiped hair from his face and took in his surroundings. He was in a small kitchen that was bright yellow with broken tile stained enough to make its original color indicipherable. Lime green appliances from the '50s.

"Go ahead on in, living room's straight ahead." Mac nodded stepping over cats of every age, size and color. On the table was a mountain of empty cat food tins. "You're lucky you came after my babies had their bedtime snack, they can be grumpy you know." Mac gently brushed aside cats who rubbed against him and crawled up his legs to sniff him. A marmelade kitten climbed up his back to his shoulder and mewed loudly in his right ear. Mac grabbed its round middle as gently as he could and winced as he tried to separate its claws from his suit shoulder and skin.

"Oh that's Tinkerbell. She's our newest baby, found her running from the dog next door. I don't know what kind of dog it is, but it was definitly too mean to live in the city don't you think so?" The woman chirped behind him. Mac held onto the kitten fighting the fifteen legs it seemed to grow to keep it from climbing and clawing him. "Oh please sit down."

Mac nodded and frowned taking in the living room. All of the furniture, two couches and a recliner were white, perfectly preserved under thick clear plastic covers. Mac sat down on one which let out a slurping fart as it took his weight. Cats took this as an invitation and soon he was bombarded with noses, whiskers and fur which stuck in clumps to his hands, face and suit. Mac coughed trying to brush it away from his face. To say this woman was a cat hoarder would be a gross understatement.

"Oh, now Nelly get out, shoo this isn't for you." The woman set a tray on a worn wooden coffee table that had mixmatched legs, each apparently from another piece of furniture.

"I'm MacGyver." Mac said setting Tinkerbell aside and immediatly regretting it as she climbed up his arm and leaped into the soggy nest of his hair. Mac winced as he painfully untangled her from his scalp.

"Oh, I'm Felicity, well my real name is Sharon but who likes Sharon? It's too old fashioned for a swinger like me!" Facility grinned at Mac her dark eyes flirting as if she were a third of her age. Mac swallowed trying to put Tinkerbell on the floor. In seconds the kitten was up his knees climbing up his chest and clawing his chin.

"Nice to meet you." Mac said feeling blood flow from tiny claw marks. The woman bent over a tarnished tray that carried a black cake sprinkled with white sugar and sawed at it vigorously. Mac raised an eyebrow pushing a swatting paw away from his right ear recieving a hiss and spit for his effort. It took Felicity almost five minutes to chisel away enough of the cake to plop it on a chipped saucer. It clunked as it hit the porcelain. Mac could see some sort of red and green circles glaring up at him like bug eyes. Mac offered a frail smile and nodded as he was handed a small cup of water stained brown by something oily skiming the surface.

"Thank you, looks delicious." Mac mumbled. Felicity smiled proudly. A paw grabbed his wrist and pulled the cup towards a group of gathering cats. Mac let them have it while he lifted the cake as if he was going to take a bite. Felicity turned standing over him wringing her hands. She pointed a gnarled finger at the cake.

"It's my sister's recipe, you put a pound of everything in it, she calls it a pound cake, but I love my bundt pan, don't you love a good bundt?" Mac set the cake down and slowly balanced the saucer on his lap to again pull Tinkerbell out of his hair this time on the back of his neck. He hoped the cats would steal the cake, but none came near it not even to smell it. Mac was going to drop it 'accidently' on the floor but he knew his host would insist on hacking him off another log to eat.

"Those are candied cherries. I like the green ones although I'm not sure how they make them green, do you know? Do you want to know what my secret recipe is? My sister taught me this-saccharine." Felicity straightened and clapped her hands together. Mac held onto wrigling Tinkerbell thinking it would be healthier to eat the kitten.

"Uhm, doesn't that cause cancer?" He asked softly. Felicity frowned looking down at her bundt.

"You know, I don't know. That would explain sis's lung cysts. Do you think so? The doctors said it was benign but you know they lie all the time, they were terrible then she got spots all over, big black moles with fur, not just a little hair, I'm talking fur the same color as Tinkerbell's tail. Can you imagine?" Mac glared at the kitten who wrapped herself around his wrist her front claws dug in her rear claws digging into his skin as she scraped her feet up and down.

"Oh, Tinkerbell loves you!" Felicity cooed. Mac grimaced pulling the kitten's pinching teeth off a fold of skin. Mac was about to answer when the front door exploded open. Mac flicked the kitten off his hand wincing at the bloody skid marks her needle sharp claws left. Three gray suited goons stormed in leveling their guns kicking cats out of the way. Felicity screamed. Mac reacted with instinct. He grabbed the biggest cat and threw it at the men. The first guy dropped his gun and flailed at his face. Mac grabbed the bundt cake and slammed the second man in the face with it. Mac raised an eyebrow in surprise. The cake didn't crack or crumble and stayed glued to the dish. The third man swung his pistol at Mac. Mac wove back and tripped falling into the squirming mass of hissing cats. The man turned his pistol to Mac's face. Mac kicked knocking the man back a step, he twisted tripping over a group of cats and his weapon discharged into the ceiling. Mac scrambled to his feet ignoring the pained yowls of cats whose tails he accidently stomped.

"Sorry." Mac muttered falling to the side as running cats tripped him. He caught himself on the coffee table. A white leg cracked in half and the table dipped like a sinking ship among a sea of fur. Mac managed to grab the porcelain tea pot he swung it with all his strength. It shattered on the goon's face splattering shards and luke warm tea everywhere. The three guys howled and pushed each other out the front door. Mac watched them go panting. He turned to Felicity grinning. She thwacked him across the face with the broom. He held up his hands as she swung again.

"THAT WAS MY NANA's." The woman howled, a banshee with wicked eyes. Mac ducked and dove toward the door. He tried to appologize but he didn't get a chance as she beat him like a rug on the line. Mac stepped through a curtain of rain running until he stood in the middle of the street. Feicity didn't step out into the rain but her loud bellows insulting his lineage, his friends, his friend's lineages, any pets his friends might have and their pet's lineages followed him as he fled. Mac bent over and heaved spitting wet fur out of his mouth. He was blinded by double headlights as two chevy sedans came at him down both sides of the street. Mac sighed and painfully straightened holding up his hands. It seemed like hundreds of gun barrels bristled at him from all sides.

"I give up." He said falling to his knees. Mac wasn't sure but he thought a few hammerlike fists flew into his face amidst the hail of boots and gun butts. Mac fell to the wet street and sighed in relief as unconsciousness took him away.

An eyeblink later he was chained to a steel framed chair in a cement square room lit only by a single dangling lightbulb. Mac blinked moaning as his body's agonies clammored for attention. He tasted blood and spit out a gob of it wincing as his jaw and sores inside his mouth joined the choir of misery. Mac looked up into the staring face of three goons. He thought they might be the same ones that crashed into Felicity's house, but after awhile all goons looked alike. Mac sighed taking in the brass knuckles on one and sap another held. They stood glaring at him, but their postures were calm almost relaxed. They were waiting for something. Mac tried to shake wet bangs from his face; the pain in his neck and shoulders told him that was not a good idea.

"I'm having a seriously crappy day." Mac said fatalistically.

"Tell me about it." One of the goons said.

"What are you bitching about, you get to go home in an hour to see Martha, some of us are on burial detail." Another said.

"No kidding." The third said as they looked at Mac with a pointed look.

"Sorry?" Mac offered.

"Eh, that's ok. It's nothing personal." The second one said with a shrug.

"Yeah, at least you're going to be in one piece. Do you know how hard it is to clean out a woodchipper." The first one groused.

"Or a meat locker." The second one interjected.

"Yeah that's the worst. They always think it's cool, send a message they say but do they have to mop the floor and sanitize the freezer so you can sell the meat without getting cited for E Coli?"

"I guess I never thought about it." Mac offered.

"Yeah, no one ever does." The first goon said. The others nodded vigorously.

"It's always hit this guy, whack that guy...it gets old." The third guy sighed.

"Maybe you should start a union?" Mac asked glad to have the men talking instead of pounding on him.

"Now that's not bad." The second one said putting his finger to his chin.

"Nah, remember Hoffa?" The third one said crossing his arms. Before any of them could say anything else Mr. Bambalino walked in, Marena on his arm. She giggled and skipped up to Mac and hugged him, carefull not to get blood on her perfectly white coat.

"Oh baby! We got everything straightened out." Mac stared at her agape. "See daddy thought you sent the ninjas because you were from a rival syndicate setting him up, but they were actually sent from Cody."

"Cody?" Mac squeaked.

"Oh he's my ex, lovely boy but a bit hot tempored, I dumped him for Johnny, but Johnny turned out to be creepy like stalkery creepy. Anyway I told Cody I'd get back together with him but he was so yesterday you know? Oh and he had the worst breath. Anyway, he obviously can't take no for an answer and is friends with a ninjitsu dojo...so?" Marlena made a what-can-you-do shrug as Mac was released from his chains. Mr. Bambalina handed Mac his tatterd jacket and rattled off a question in Italian. Mac's head was ringing too much for him to follow what the older man said. He looked at Marlena who grinned.

"Daddy wants to know if you'll take me on another date." Mac looked at the man and started to shake his head no. The man's eyes narrowed. Mac wheeled his head around to a nod. Mr. Bambalina smiled a less hostile toothy grin.

"Sure I'd love to." Mac managed a tiny smile. Marlena waved her hands delighted. Mr. Bambalina sent off another string of Italian then left two of the goons flanking him. Marlena curled herself into Mac's side holding onto his arm like a creeper vine.

"Daddy said Bruce will take you home, it's late. I'll see you soon, lover." Marlena purred as she kissed him on his cheek pausing to nibble his ear. Mac nodded at her and followed the last goon out to a limo waiting outside in the rain. Mac reached over and poured himself a full class of Jack Daniels and slammed it back. He sighed and leaned back tired and hurting. The limo stopped at the bottom of the hill from his home.

"Get out." Bruce snarled. Mac looked at him.

"You can't take me to my door?"

"The boss doesn't want me seen in this neighborhood. Out, now." Mac nodded and tiredly dragged himself out the back door. As he was leaning out Bruce called in a friendly voice, "Hey you have a great night!" Mac looked at him with resignation.

"You too...with Martha?" The man grinned.

"Absolutly, you know we..." Mac cut off Bruce's bragging by slamming the door. He pulled his torn suit jacket around him and began the long trudge up the hill. Mac opened the door as a thunderous roar followed a blinding flash. His three friends were sitting in the darkened living room, watching TV, while they huddled and spoke excitedly about what a great time Mac must be having. Mac sucked in the smell of extrabuttery popcorn with a heartbreaking longing. He slammed the door shut making them all jump.

"Mac! What are you doing home so early?" Bozer asked.

"Did she ditch you? You gotta spill!" Riley hollared.

"Is there a second date…" Jack trailed off as Mac walked into the lit kitchen and pulled out a beer. "What the hell happened to you?" Mac silenced them with hostility.

"No she didn't ditch me, no I don't want to talk about it and yes there will be a second date." Mac turned and limped to the bathroom sucking the beer down as he went.

*******No cats or kittens were harmed in the making of this story, although Mac's white suit was fatally wounded several times.


End file.
